The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever
| Michael Bungay Stanier, 2024
What’s It All About?
We want to be helpful, tell others what we know, and share our ideas with others. But while you’re interacting with your team or others in your life, your intentions might not always match up with your impact or perception of others.
To bridge this gap and improve the way you share advice, you need to confront the Advice Monster! This is a term coined by Michael Bungay Stanier (MBS!) in his most recent book The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious, and Change the Way You Lead Forever. In the book, MBS shares how to identify and combat the monster within.
To do this, MBS breaks the monster into three personas:
- Tell-it This is when you know you have the right answer and think you will fail if you do not share this information. This persona often occurs when you feel short of time or are impatient to get started on a task or goal.
- Save-it This persona is all about rescue mode. You feel that if you don’t step in and play the hero with your imperative advice, the situation could go very wrong.
- Control-it With this persona—the most dangerous of all—you believe you have control over the situation, which can lead to a lack of trust in others or an inability to let go of your control.
Favorite Quote
“Coaching is the act of staying curious. Feedback is when you need to share your point of view.”
Biggest Takeaway
in a negative, one-way conversation. To help leaders like these facilitate more humble and curious dialogues, MBS’s book offers great insights on how coaching and curiosity should be woven into the conversation.
It’s really a simple adjustment for leaders, yet I hear so many frustrations about leaders struggling with feedback and a lack of curiosity.
Bonus Information
Michael Bungay Stanier is an upcoming guest on the Mindfulness Manufacturing podcast, where he’ll share more great insights. Stay tuned to make sure you catch his episode on September 4th!
You can also check out a previous book report on MBS’s other great book, The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More, and Change the Way You Lead Forever. If you only have time to read one book, I’d suggest this one.
Reviewed by: Trevor Blondeel, August 4, 2020
At Manufacturing Greatness, Trevor Blondeel works with manufacturers to connect the top to the shop. If you’re ready to improve your own organization, contact Trevor to learn how Manufacturing Greatness can help you build stronger leaders and develop a dynamic, high-performing workplace.